Hi, I am Ashutosh and I am 16. I love many fandoms and thats what blog is gonna be about plus my life too, yeah i have no one to tell it too so Tumblr is my way out. p.s I track Letters to Tumblr.
Reblogged from thorarinsdottir  237,391 notes

19th June 2014,

Dear Tumblr,

You know the life cycle of bad days avenging on you because you were relieved from them for a lucid time. Well no its not in my case. My life usually gets fiercely bad and then less pain but again pain as hell.

I had started to wonder, yes I am feeling a bit better but then, those cringing moment they never leave you, those scars which you mended by yourself away from the stare of everybody they diverse and widen more and more.

What i want to say right now is, fights are never gone completely those little arguments change and become a ravaging grief. 

My parents started to fight, and who am i to tell except cry like a stupid whiny child on tumblr, my parents fight ! 

THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING FROM FOREVER

So how its different, I know what happens everywhere, yeah and other people do have it more bad. But still that doesn’t make my pain small in any way.

My parents were arranged marriage, yeah SHOCKING ! Its so prevalent in India, they were forced into in this marriage and were forced into creating me. This just make me think that I am a mistake, a mistake which was forced upon them. I had no way to make a change in it, all their fights I guess have emerged from me. I the epicentre of this earthquake

I will never get the idea of arrange marriage, these are the reasons why i am wanna never have to born from here. 

My parents started to fight last day and then my dad cussed my mom. And the fight densed, I was just breaking inside. More and more, piece by piece. I could do nothing, everything feels futile. 

I am just a mistake and shouldn’t have ever been born, I don’t wanna exist and I don’t wanna kill myself because I don’t wanna cause any more pain in any way. I just wanna never to cease to exist.

Then I watched HIMYM finale to hurt myself more. 

I looked at Marshall and Lily, I wondered thats how my parents should have been, they should love like they it would be the best. Or any other of them, Ted and Marshall, even Barney and Robin twice(individually). I have also started to envy Harry Potter in the way that he would never had to see his parents every fight. And i feel so wrong in that. 

I shouldn’t feel like that.

I silently cried at night, breaking inside every single time.

Love always,

Ashutosh

Reblogged from amorrexx  18,925 notes
harrypotter-mywholelife:

I think this picture means that how much we are used to seeing things virtually, how engrossed we are in this virtual stream that we rarely go out and look for the fineness even in the small bits of our nature/life.

and before anybody reblogs and says anything, i’ll say that in advance:

no it just freakin mean that we can take a picture of anything! stop taking english majors.

harrypotter-mywholelife:

I think this picture means that how much we are used to seeing things virtually, how engrossed we are in this virtual stream that we rarely go out and look for the fineness even in the small bits of our nature/life.

and before anybody reblogs and says anything, i’ll say that in advance:

no it just freakin mean that we can take a picture of anything! stop taking english majors.

Reblogged from heyteenbookshey  4,200 notes

summerscourtney:

So anyway I am working on a new book of people I hope you hate and are drawn to???

harrypotter-mywholelife:

okay this now literally changes most of the things !! I stopped myself from writing those weird things people will puke on but now it encourages me. Watch out guys…

A very deep dark compelling novel is coming your way. 

THE DAWN OF DEPRESSION

A story filled with you deepest regrets and secrets !! A story which will compel you..”

11th May, 2014

Dear Tumblr,
Life has always been lonely for me. And yet it feek like that, I feel bounded by time. By people. And I can’t break free.
I want trio befriend people but I think i am not worth. I want to scream because maybe that’ll break something, I broke but there was never a noise. That’s my outlook in a nuttshell.
Just for once i want to say, I never do anything bad, I never hurt anyone, and what I just ask is maybe it’ll get better. When i try its loss what i get back. I never do anything bad and never do to suffer so much. Life plays cruel to innocent and pays gift to the convicted. That’s what life is and i don’t want to live in it.
Definitely not like this.

Love always,
Ashutosh.